taking things for granted in relationships

taking things for granted in relationships

We are all dependent on conditions. None of us has control over anything. Forget external things, we cant have a control over what we will be feeling or thinking the next minute. When it comes, it comes. Then it will just blow you, push you, pull you, stretch you, flatten you. We are totally conditioned, we are so dependent. And it is not getting easier, modern life, modern structure, infrastructure is making us even more dependent on different things. And even faster. A rejection from your partner could come instantly in a SMS, you understand. In the past it may take like a month to walk. Like this, it is not more the case. So our emotion, the stressful life is like a roller-coaster. But anyway the point is, conditioned, we are ruled by conditions.

And trying to have a – this is good to be aware of – trying to have a love romance, candle light dinner, relationship, we within this situation where everything is dependent on so many things. Now think. I think it is quite a good awareness to have this. Because one of the biggest problem with the love and relationship is something called taking things for granted, isn’t it. When the couple meet, a week, two weeks, fantastic. You know, then a month for those people who are kind of slow in their thinking, a month, even a year, then due to all kinds of situations, stress, responsibility, morality, I don’t know, depression, you end up taking things for granted, specially your partner. You expect, you know, if your partner sms you every half an hour. And one day this partner, I don’t know, maybe she or he has a diarrhea problem or something, forget to sms within half an hour. Then it bothers you, it bugs you. Then there will be question: why didn’t you do it, what happened? All of this.

So I think to have awareness of this fact that we are so dependent on cause and conditions, everything, that awareness might create a space and a boundary.

Love and Relationships, Singapore April 2012 (podcast 18)

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