Tag Archives: jealousy

trying to meditate with attachment to this life

not being free for meditation

If you have attachment to this life and if you meditate, even though you are somewhere very very quite, isolated, doing retreat, in reality you have ???. ??? means you are busy, you have engagement. Because you are engaged with, because you have attachment to this life. So you are busy, you are occupied, you are not free basically.
Such kind of meditation will just cause arrogance, so that condemning or criticizing those who doing the hearing and contemplation. Such kind of meditation will just create envy and jealousy towards those who also meditate. Such kind of meditation even though it is labelled as a meditation it is nothing more than a subtle or a big distraction. It is basically a distraction.

Parting from the four attachments, Nepal June 2009
(->videos on youtube)

beauty of the mind

beauty of the mind

Yes of course, right now our mind is completely gone rigid. Our mind is gone totally wild. Even for one moment, maybe one moment you can but even for maybe three minutes you cannot concentrate on anything. But the beauty of the mind is, it’s trainable. You know this thing that we have, this thing that we call desire, anger, jealousy, all of these, we got these things because we train ourselves to have it this way. It is a training, desire, we just got trained this way and we become an expert in it at the moment. That is all there is, desire, anger, all of this. Depression, excitement, not so well trained for that one, the excitement, happiness, not so.

Outer, Inner and Secret Refuge, London 2010

rejoicing in effects

rejoicing

I think many Dharma practitioners tend to think the practice of rejoice is when you look at, when you see somebody doing Dharma practice or something virtuous and then you rejoice. That is good, that is correct. But not only that. You should also rejoice the effect of the virtue. So that is more difficult actually. First of all practice of rejoice is difficult. Rejoicing someone else’s virtuous action is difficult. But rejoicing someone else’s result of the virtuous action is much more difficult. If you see somebody very beautiful, we tend to be immediately jealous. We become jealous or envious. So rejoice, when we talk about rejoice here, we talk about rejoicing both the cause and the effect. If somebody is having nice time, rejoice that he or she is going through that effect. If somebody is gaining much more than you. Rejoice. If somebody is more beautiful than you. Rejoice. All effect.

Teachings on Aspirations, California 2008

two loser emotions

two loser emotions

We have anger, passion and ignorance. Ignorance, passion and aggression, these three emotions are kind of – of course they are not good of course. You know within the five emotions, ignorance, passion, aggression, jealousy and pride, if you were to ask me, which out of this five which is the worst. I my own experience, the ignorance, passion and aggression is, you know I don’t mind them so much. Because with the passion you can get things done, you can read, because of the passion. Aggression also get things done. Ignorance is kind of naive and kind of stupid so it is okay. But there are two loser emotions. Pride and jealousy. They are such a loser. You gain nothing out of being jealous, or you gain nothing out of having so much pride. Pride. When you have pride, with the pride, you perception is different, so different. I cannot finish even talking about it. Someone who has so much pride, because of the pride, you can’t even have a good date, you know dating. Because of the pride. Have you experienced this? Because you are dating with this new friend. And because of your pride you don’t want to be the one who breaks the ice first. You wait until the other person talks, isn’t it. Pride, because of the pride, you know pride makes you so fragile. More pride you are, easier to get hurt. And because of your pride your world is so limited, your perception, your perception of the world has become so limited. You don’t make friends. You make yourself very limited. Jealousy is another continuous paranoia. So much, as we were talking about earlier, so much story you write because of the jealousy. So much imagination. All of these is created by jealousy.

The Three Levels of Perception, Singapore 2003

fundamental root of all suffering

fundamental root of all suffering

According to Buddhism, the fundamental root of all the pain and the suffering that we have is because of clinging to dualism. You can say dualism is like equal to, I think the Christians talk about Satan, something evil. In Buddhism, dualism is the evil. So evil or negative force does not exist outside. As you long as you have the dualistic mind or dualistic distinctions, you will always have a comparison. Therefore dualism is like the source of the insecurity. Dualism creates the insecurity. It is dualism, it is the dualistic mind, that which we call pride. It is the dualism, that which we call anger, aggression, jealousy, passion, greed. All these emotions are basically a dualistic mind that has become so out of control.

Fundamental View of Buddhism, Moscow 2010

the moment insecurity hits you

the moment insecurity hits you

When we meditate, sitting like twenty minutes of doing nothing, just sitting. We didn’t do even all the rest of the three mindfulness. We were just doing the body. Just sitting. What are we doing? We are, the moment the insecurity hits you, instead of putting on a fashion, I don’t know, combing your hair, what are we doing? We do nothing. We refrain doing those things, we retreat ourself doing these things. Basically we just sit. Like Shantideva said, like a ???, piece of wood basically. Like, you just sit. Okay, all this lifetimes, the moment insecurity hits you, you have learned one trick which is respond to it. Either bad way or good way, you have learned that trick. In the ???, you do the opposite. The moment insecurity hits you, you do nothing, neither good nor bad. You just sit. What does it do. It actually sends a message to your mind, and your mind gets really puzzled. Because in the past, your mind wants something, and then you deliver, you try to deliver anyway. You think of something good, bad, whatever. It’s bit like this, it’s bit like – this is maybe not the best example – let’s say there is a battery, there is a battery. And this battery gets charged every time you touch this a little bit. The battery gets charged. It doesn’t matter how you touch, whether you touch stroke, gently, or you hit it. It doesn’t matter. Both way it charges. Just like that, our insecurity, our emotions are just like that battery. Now how do you want this battery to be worn out. Don’t do anything, then it slowly – it has to survive on its own energy and it has to spend its own energy so it exhausts. In the past, when the emotion arise, you poke it, you alter it, you try to do something. As an ordinary human being, you actual get into the anger, jealousy, pride. Of course that is very much touching this battery. As a Buddhist you try to pray, you try to sort of think it is bad. I shouldn’t do this. This is also a gentle way of touching but nevertheless it is a touching. What do you do now. You don’t do anything. You just let it be. When you let this be, then it exhaust its own energy. What does this do. It sends a very specific signal to this insecurity. Its actually making this insecurity or this self face the reality, face the truth. It really forces it to face the truth. And once you faith the truth, you will be very very surprised. You will be like – let’s say you actually experience falling from a cliff. And you just manage to grab hold a dead grass as you are falling. And then you are just hanging there, because of this dead grass. You are just hanging there. And you are so paranoid. Only to find out there is only two inch you are on the earth. There is nowhere to fall. I mean it is really save. The insecurity of the self, clinging to the self, this is what you have to face. And this is what things like mindfulness do, it really forces you.

Parting from the four attachments, Nepal June 2009
(videos)

rejoicing

rejoicing

Then rejoicing. This is a very good one. Rejoicing. Method of rejoicing other people good deeds is really like a merit up for grab. Basically we just look at somebody doing good and rejoice.

Buddha said, even if you cut all the mountains and put it in one scale and merit of rejoicing somebodies good deed, if you put on the other scale, if you scale them, the merit of the rejoice is bigger. Buddha himself said this. And not only rejoicing good deed but also the result of the good deed, if you see somebody having nice time. If you see somebody who is really good looking or somebody who is talented with something, that you have always wanted to. Instead of being envious, rejoice. This is really one of the easiest way of accumulating merit. And one of the biggest problems we have is jealousy isn’t it. Jealousy, all the other emotions have some kind of benefit but the jealousy not only does it have any benefit it is really, really, it is a loser emotion. In order to counter the jealousy, rejoicing.

Parting from the four attachments, Nepal June 2009
(videos)