the moment insecurity hits you
When we meditate, sitting like twenty minutes of doing nothing, just sitting. We didn’t do even all the rest of the three mindfulness. We were just doing the body. Just sitting. What are we doing? We are, the moment the insecurity hits you, instead of putting on a fashion, I don’t know, combing your hair, what are we doing? We do nothing. We refrain doing those things, we retreat ourself doing these things. Basically we just sit. Like Shantideva said, like a ???, piece of wood basically. Like, you just sit. Okay, all this lifetimes, the moment insecurity hits you, you have learned one trick which is respond to it. Either bad way or good way, you have learned that trick. In the ???, you do the opposite. The moment insecurity hits you, you do nothing, neither good nor bad. You just sit. What does it do. It actually sends a message to your mind, and your mind gets really puzzled. Because in the past, your mind wants something, and then you deliver, you try to deliver anyway. You think of something good, bad, whatever. It’s bit like this, it’s bit like – this is maybe not the best example – let’s say there is a battery, there is a battery. And this battery gets charged every time you touch this a little bit. The battery gets charged. It doesn’t matter how you touch, whether you touch stroke, gently, or you hit it. It doesn’t matter. Both way it charges. Just like that, our insecurity, our emotions are just like that battery. Now how do you want this battery to be worn out. Don’t do anything, then it slowly – it has to survive on its own energy and it has to spend its own energy so it exhausts. In the past, when the emotion arise, you poke it, you alter it, you try to do something. As an ordinary human being, you actual get into the anger, jealousy, pride. Of course that is very much touching this battery. As a Buddhist you try to pray, you try to sort of think it is bad. I shouldn’t do this. This is also a gentle way of touching but nevertheless it is a touching. What do you do now. You don’t do anything. You just let it be. When you let this be, then it exhaust its own energy. What does this do. It sends a very specific signal to this insecurity. Its actually making this insecurity or this self face the reality, face the truth. It really forces it to face the truth. And once you faith the truth, you will be very very surprised. You will be like – let’s say you actually experience falling from a cliff. And you just manage to grab hold a dead grass as you are falling. And then you are just hanging there, because of this dead grass. You are just hanging there. And you are so paranoid. Only to find out there is only two inch you are on the earth. There is nowhere to fall. I mean it is really save. The insecurity of the self, clinging to the self, this is what you have to face. And this is what things like mindfulness do, it really forces you.
Parting from the four attachments, Nepal June 2009